called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize