READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
