i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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