You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
