i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
