so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
