Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
