He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
my liver is dry heaving
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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