Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
