Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
