Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize