i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
