No, drunk sperm still make babies.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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