I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
