Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
