I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
