i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
