I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
