Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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