WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
