In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
