a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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