you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize