Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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