im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
