This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize