I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
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