Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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