escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
