i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
