Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize