Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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