in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
