i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
