Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
