I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
