She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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