I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize