the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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