Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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