I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
