I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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