; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
