The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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