Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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