it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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