I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
