White coat. Heels.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
