her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
