"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
