hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
