yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
