I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
