yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
