You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
