Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
