forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
people are starting to question the shark bite story
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
