i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
