I feel great
I just peed on a car
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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