wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
