you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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