So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
