wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
